Whoooaaa Bundy II

Like I went into explaining in my last post, I like to leave cards alone once they're done... but, here is another exception to that rule.

I was contacted about doing an Al Bundy football card for a private signing.  Since I'd already made an Al Bundy football card some time back I suggested using that one.  That card was agreed upon but the requester wanted a card back.  Since the card was made in 2018 when I was just using my logo stamped back, it did not have its own unique reverse.  My philosophy was for the longest time that it was all about the card's front side.  That was especially true for the fact that I was originally making these cards exclusively for myself in an effort to see if I could get them autographed.  Once you've got the card autographed who the hell cares what's on back, right?  Well, I've come to see the error of my ways and I've realized that a custom card's back can nearly have a much charm as the card's front if given equal time and thought.  

So, I agreed to do a back for this card.  Just because, I looked to see if perhaps there were any usable Al Bundy football pics I might have missed the first time around.  I knew I was going to use the same 1966 Topps football inspired design (four touchdowns in the '66 championship game, baby!) but I was wanting to remix this card a bit for this requester's private signing.  Low and behold I found an image that I dare say is as good, if not better with this card.  

1966 Topps football

After completing the back I pretty much fell in love with this card.  I actually didn't want to put it out there because I didn't want to, in a sense, kill the original Al football card.  But, I guess they both have to exist because basically I just really like the way this came out.  I think that all of us that grew up with Al "Touchdown" Bundy can appreciate yet another custom of this legend. 

Bundy Ball

I've previously expressed my love for Ed O'Neil and Married... with Children so it was only a matter of time before I made some more custom cards from one of the greatest tv shows of all-times.

The Bundys played in a mall softball league on a team that was sponsored by the New Market Mall where Al worked as a shoe salesman.  The New Market Mallers was referenced in two episodes; Season Two's "How Do You Spell Revenge" and Season Five's "The Unnatural".  The two cards above are from the latter.  This is an episode where the Mallers, and Al's own family, are dogging him for his poor play and showing no appreciation for Al's past Maller softball glory.  The team decides to bring in a muscle bound ringer, "Sven Hunkstrom", to replace Al and give the Mallers the edge in the league's championship game.  Sven is inadvertently knocked out by Al's neighbor nemesis Marcy whom is umping the game leaving Al as the team's only hope.  After some ass kissing from his family Al steps up to the plate, calls his shot Babe Ruth style and knocks one out of the park securing the championship for the Mallers.  I specifically remember this episode growing up and remembering it was a favorite of mine.

I went with the a 1981 Topps baseball inspired design even though this episode is from 1990.  I just thought of all the different templates I've done this one just had the right feel.  I also needed a set that had a cool Future Stars card for the other Bundys and I loved the way the one I did in the Freaks and Geeks set turned out.

There was another baseball themed episode in Season Nine's "A Man For No Seasons".  This time it was Al and his NO MA'AM buddies starting their own working man's league with Major League Baseball on strike in 1994.  The local media picks up the story of Al & co. landing in jail for sneaking into Wrigley Field for a pickup baseball game.  In the article Al is typo'd as a Al "Birdie".  From that article a league is formed of working stiffs and sponsored by nudie bars to where all team names are boobie related.  In the end the league disbands for the very same reason as the MLB was on strike which was money disputes between players and owners.

I again chose not to go with my M.O. of matching the movie/show year to a card design of the same vintage.  I'd stopped collecting baseball cards by 1994 to focus my card collecting on basketball.  I don't even really know what the 1994 sets looked liked, so for one there was no nostalgia with those for me.  I went the 1981 Fleer inspired design because again I just thought it fit best with the picture.

Yo! Phantom Cardboard Raps

Chances are that in 1991 if you had any of the ProSet MusiCards you probably also had some of that card set’s funky cousin, the Yo! MTV Raps MusiCards. It seems that on the store counter where you found one, you found the other. The format was the same, music act on the front, informational blurb on the back. The Yo! MTV Raps cards featured strictly hip hop acts where as the the regular MusiCards featured popular artists from all genres, a few acts even are featured in both sets. The aesthetic of the Raps cards had a little more going on than the much simpler template of the regular MusiCards. If I didn’t know better I would say it looks like ProSet consulted with Lisa Frank to help this set pop.

I’m just freesetyling here but the Yo! MTV Raps cards target audience may have been Suburban America. With Vanilla Ice and M.C Hammer bringing a new demographic into the rap fold these cards introduced hip-hop acts that weren’t as well known as rap and hip-hop culture was experiencing a mainstream boom. Just a theory.

Anymore rap is a culture of its own. Hip hop is now multigenerational and is really transcending race. Back in 1991 white rappers, by and large, were mainly novelty acts. For my Yo! cards I wanted to have fun and add some Anglo pop-culture flava from back in the day.

If you’ve ever seen 1989’s Teen Witch you are well aware of one of the most pinnacle scenes in movie history; the “Top That” rap battle between Polly and Rhet. I have to believe that scene was the seed that the whole plot of 8 Mile would eventually grow from. If you’re a fan of that gritty street-level lyrical rap and you’ve never seen this scene then stop reading this blog and hit up YouTube. Just type in “Top That”, watch and then come back and finish this post.

I read recently that the “Top That!” scene was not even part of the original movie but added months after the movie had wrapped with producers wanting to add a rap feature to the middle of the movie. Both Noah Blake (Rhet) and Mandy Ingber (Polly) each recalled being embarrassed about performing the scene but both went HAM on “Top That!” thinking no one would ever see it. Little did they know that the Internet and a generation heavy on nostalgia would resurrect it into a pop-culture phenomenon.

In Season Six (1992) of Married … With Children we were introduced to Bud Bundy’s alter-ego Grandmaster B. For the longest time I thought the producers were using the popularity of rap music at the time as another avenue to put Bud Bundy’s ineptitude with woman on display, which it was, but what I found out only a few years ago was that David Faustino around this time was trying to throw his backwards Raiders cap into the rap game! Faustino, under the moniker D ’Lil, released a single in 1992 called “I Told Ya” and it’s the most early ‘90s rap thing you’ll ever listen to.

So you wick-wack, knick-knack, tic-tac, skip back
I got the funky style and you know you can't get with that
I got more flava than the bar candy Kit Kat
And when it comes to kitty cats, I gotta have the jimmy hats

If you think “Top That!” is cringey then I’d have to believe that the Prince Zack rap from the “1-900-Crushed” episode from Season Two (1990) episode of Saved by the Bell has to be as hard to watch as your grandparents in the throes of a saliva heavy makeout sesh. It makes “Top That!” sound like Eminem’s “Rap God”.

The scene comes as a dream sequence of Kelly’s little sister Nikki. It’s a bastardized rap retelling of Cinderella with Zack as a rapping Prince Charming with Slater and Screech providing the spit-shower beatboxing as Zack tries to find the owner of the golded out hi-top sneaker. Spoiler alert; it fits Nikki Kapowski. After seeing this no wonder it took white people so long to be taken seriously in rap music. But, I jest. I love Saved by the Bell and think this scene is charming in a ridiculous Zack Morris kind of way.

I could not make a fantasy music trading card of Saved by the Bell and not pay tribute to probably the greatest fictional band of all-time, Zack Attack. Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Saved by the Bell basically lay the groundwork for VH1’s Behind The Music series with the Season Three (1991) episode “Rockumentary”? The episode chronicles, again in dream sequence form, the rags-to-riches rise, fall, and eventual reunion of Zack’s powerhouse band “Zack Attack”.

I dusted off the two fluorescent oblong triangles of my 1991 ProSet MusiCards inspired design and plugged in Zack, Lisa, and Kelly performing their worldwide smash hit “Friend’s Forever”. Seriously, that episode ruled. The voices in the songs didn’t even remotely match those of the Bayside gang.

Whoooaaa Bundy

Married… With Children ran from 1987 through 1997, which meant for 11 years of my life my Sunday nights were spent with the Bundys. I grew up in the Midwest which also the region of the country MWC was set in. Aside for the actors being great in their roles and good writing, I would attribute the show’s successful run to its relatability. It seemed like every other family sitcom before Married had parents that got along and were in a rewarding professional vocation. I can’t speak for the whole Midwest, but my family was way closer to the Bundys than it was the Huxtables.
This is a card that I’d thought of before but I’d not seen to many through the mail autograph successes in recent years for Ed O’Neill outside of preprint stuff. That changed when a friend I’ve met through doing my cards told me he may be able to get me an Ed O’Neill autograph in the near future if the right stars align.  That was enough for me.

I watched some old clips of Married… With Children to try and nail down a year for my Al Bundy Polk High card, which in itself was worth the work that went into making the card. Al mentions in one episode that he “made all-city back in ‘66” which I later confirmed was the year that Al scored FOUR TOUCHDOWNS in the Chicago City Championship game. So, now I had a year to work with.

1966 Topps football

There’s not a wealth of images available of Al in his Polk High uni.  This one I think works because it’s not the best quality screen grab which is okay seeing as this is supposed to be from 1966.  He’s got a helmet on which I think helps him pass from his younger self and not the woman’s shoe salesman that life has chewed up and spit out.

The 1966 Topps football (and hockey) had an old-timey wood console TV design. The challenge with that was matching the wood’s finish. I found that to be just as hard as trying to match wood furniture. Mine is not an exact match, but that’s not to say I’m not dissatisfied with the finished product. I’d like it to be as close as possible and I tried a number of things stopping just short of throwing my laptop.  Again though, I think I did Al “Touchdown” Bundy justice.

Get a copy of this card here. Or, I will trade straight up for this month’s Biguns magazine or episodes of Psycho Dad dubbed onto VHS.  Let me know.

Fun fact... Ed O’Neill was a defensive lineman during in college at Youngstown State, and the Steelers signed him as an undrafted rookie free agent in 1969, but he was later waived during training camp.