Greg Focker

I've been sitting on this card for a little while now.  I've been having ongoing issues getting my cards produced.  It's been one thing after another.  Candidly, it has really bummed me out and stifled my creativity/enthusiasm for creating new cards.  I've met with a couple of new vendors so hopefully *fingers crossed* I'm approaching the other side of these challenges.

I don't like moving forward with unresolved issues hanging overhead, but I got to thinking that bringing out a fun new card might just need the right kind of therapy.

I make an effort not to be too hyperbolic.  If everything is the best, then nothing is really the best.  But then again I primarily just spend time making custom cards of things I really enjoy, so it makes sense that I put the card's subject on somewhat of a pedestal.  With that being said, I'm confident -without giving much thought to what the other four movies might be- that Meet the Parents is easily a "Top 5" funniest movie for me.  It's not just funny, it's downright hilarious.  I tend to find it very humorous when people are put in uncomfortable situations where in that moment they don't exactly know how to react to what's happening to them.  That's what Meet the Parents is to me.  Ben Stiller always plays the perfect put-upon guy.  I guess I can relate to that.  I tend to take things I shouldn't preferring not to rock the boat.  

From start to finish Meet the Parents is genius.  The pool scene in particular is a masterpiece in my opinion.  From Greg having to wear Pam's ex-boyfriend's bikini trunks in his pool that's in his immaculate home to the multiple nurse/pot-head jabs from Jack and Dr. Larry, to Pam's mom jumping into the pool fully clothed to aid her daughter whose nose was just broken by a viscous Greg Focker spike.  The whole scene culminating in the volleyball net creating a physical divide between Greg and the rest of Byrnes clan.  Just brilliant.  You know Greg must really love Pam because most people would have just been like "this is not going to work, I'm out" long before that.

Meet the Parents came out in 2000.  Well past the time period I usually do custom cards in.  So, in picking a template I wanted something that had at least a tiny bit of a modern look to it.  It also had to be a versatile design seeing as there's no real preset 'look' that a water volleyball card should have.  I thought for those reason a 1990 Upper Deck baseball inspired design would get the job done.

I had to reorient the template into a horizontal layout.  There may be some cards from that set that are flipped horizontally but I didn't take the time to seek them out, I just sort of eyeballed the border ratios from one of the horizontal layout.  This was necessary because the screen shot I found of Greg mid-kill shot was totally lost in the vertical mockup.  Of course there were no team logos so rather than leave that element out I went with a generic volleyball to keep more of that 1990 U.D. aesthetic alive.

On the back is an ultra uncomfortable Greg aka "G-Man" aka "Glen" aka "Florence Nightingale" aka "Panama Red" in Kevin's bathing skivvies.  God, just put yourself in that situation!

You Douchebags Bring Your A-Game?

When I got the idea for this card I said "this is gonna kill", and laughed a bit to myself; I'm assuming the way a comedian might when he/she gets an epiphany for some new material.  The thought of this card is hilarious to me.

I'm a fan of Ben Stiller's put upon type of characters.  The kind of guy he plays in movies like Meet the Parents, The Heartbreak Kid, and the movie that inspired this card; Along Came Polly.  Just so it's clear I'm a fan of pretty much every one of Ben's characters, it's just the good intentioned tough luck ones I feel I can really relate to.

Let's be honest, Ben was great per usual but Philip Seymour Hoffman's "Sandy Lyle" character hijacked this movie.  The guy was a brilliant actor in any genre. He slays in every single scene he's in.  The basketball scene may be the funniest but even that's hard to say because he was just that good.

This is a newer movie, at least by my card's standards, so I picked my 1980-81 Topps basketball inspired design.  It would of been hilarious in any template in my opinion but the 3-paneled design was perfect for what I wanted to do.  Because of the Bird/Magic rookie it's an iconic set and the ability to use the three pictures makes it really fun to work with.

This Is Pure Poppycock!

" Cram it up your cram hole, LaFleur! "

I’ve been working on this Dodgeball set off and on for awhile now; every so often adding another member of Average Joe’s or a Purple Cobra.  Then, as it usually seems to happen with my card sets, I sat down and watched the movies and it took my inspiration for the cards to the next level.

I had originally planned on just making the two teams, but after watching I knew there were a few hilarious ancillary cards that had to be a part of the mini-set.

If you’ve not watched Dodgeball in awhile it’s worth a rewatch.  If you’re pressed for time at least pick it up from the point where the dodgeball tournament starts.  It’s a quotefest.  Pepper f’n Brooks, man.

" They got guys named Laser and Blazer and Taser, and all kinds of azers!"

I’m a fan of most anything Ben Stiller is in.  I dig his brand of humor especially when he plays that sort of put upon character like in Meet the Parents.  Vince Vaughn is palatable but I defy anyone to find me a movie, this one included, where he isn’t the same. exact. character.  Has no one caught on to this?  He plays the same fast talking wise-ass character, literally, in every movie he’s ever been in.

For the card set I chose a 1989-90 Fleer basketball inspired theme.  I liked the idea of using each of the two teams logos with the color coordinated border.

" Wait, there's a guy on our team dressed like a pirate? "

Dodge, dip, dive, duck, and dodge.

For the Chuck Norris and Chancellor card it took awhile to track down a movie accurate ADAA logo.  There's one out there that is close but I would know the difference and that would never do.  Same deal I talked about with the Bayside Tigers logo.

" It's a bold strategy, Cotton.  Let's see if it pays off for 'em. "